In response, friend A conforms with the present perfect progressive tense by saying, I’ve been doing well. If you're new to a company and leading a … Similarly, How are you? If not, please Consider Dumping the False Teacher You Currently Sit Under and also Truly and Personally Seeking the LORD. Like you, but better. It’s better to know that you’ve been feeling tired for the last couple of days before you’re so sleep deprived that you get sick. Trust me, you do not want to know. After that initial “hi,” though, there’s often an awkward lull. Writing. (Because, no, Megan, that’s not wise to do even amid this pandemic crisis.). But instead of moving on, he said, “No. It’s very easy to have no idea what the real one actually is. Things don’t have to be good just because nothing terrible is happening. Like a pig in a butcher shop. basically mean the same thing and are both commonly used. Hope this status quo persists for rest of the day. By. I mean a real true answer. When a friend asked if I was taking care of myself, I found it to be the sweetest way to check in. We need you at your best! These are conversations built to encourage speakers to share what truly wants to unfold as a result of their current life experiences. Here are some more words you might use to describe how you’re really feeling when talking with these closer friends: Exhausted – When you’re really tired. When someone asks a person in poor health "how are you doing?" So, you can ask this question to make that active one-on-one time to see, well, how someone is doing, authentically. Everyone pretty much agreed that this was the first time, at least that day, that any of us were actually considering a real answer to that question. After sunshine, a good listen, caffeine, a good breakfast, and some hugs from Dale, I feel a lot better. He asked us how we were all doing, and in unison, everyone gave the standard “Good” answer. I love you all. Much better now that you’re here with me. And if you’re fatigued with talking about COVID-19 all the time, here are few ways to positively change the conversation. Because more often than not, we’re not really asking. How you doing is a shortened form of the longer, more formal greeting how are you doing. With so many dusting off their home yoga mat to balance their couch time, many are finding themselves already fatigued by the same vinaya videos they’ve been watching for weeks on end now. Start in the morning. Sometimes you fall in the middle, and it’s beneficial to know that. Not what you tell everyone (i.e. Our editors independently select these products. Also, are YOU okay? Next question, please. All rights reserved. Usually the answer is no, unless it’s limiting you in some way. The answer you give when someone asks how you’re doing is usually an automatic, standard response. 1. Usually, neither person is anything but “pretty good” these days, ... You really can't ever get rid of it. The question—and its popular variation, “How are you doing?”—appears in emails from strangers and acquaintances and in polite face-to-face conversation. Let’s all be honest, things are not okay in this world right now. This one works well if you’re checking in on someone who’s quarantining with one or multiple other people. Focus on how your loved ones are keeping busy and entertaining themselves, and let the conversation unfold from there. Because really, what can you say? A blog about all things wellness to help you find what works for you, brought to you by Rachel and Jor-El of Viva Wellness. Are there other ways to say how are you, though, that are more helpful and less tone deaf? Making a purchase through our links may earn Well+Good a commission. You … Maybe they have a good show recommendation, or maybe they’re enjoying a comfort binge that you can both be nostalgic about. I could really go for a massage, now that you asked. These are conversations built to encourage speakers to share what truly wants to unfold as a result of their current life experiences. “When you’re checking in and asking the other person a question, be sure to listen to their answer,” says Roberts. Maybe this is someone wrapping up coursework for their master’s degree at home, despite having no graduation to walk in; or maybe it’s someone who can’t set WFH boundaries with themselves, let alone the kids they’re trying to homeschool. How are You Really Doing? Plus 10 things you can do right now as part of your circle of influence to create rejuvenation, healing, and empowerment for you, others, and your community. HOW ARE YOU DOING? Express how you are feeling. © 2021 Well+Good LLC. The natural response to this question, at least in the United States, is a simple “good” or “fine” followed by a reciprocation of the same greeting. Are You Growing to Know Who Jesus Better and Who He is? I’ve been thinking about you lately. But in light of the lack of human connection we’re experiencing as we abide by social-distancing guidelines to slow the spread of COVID-19 and general worries about how this pandemic will affect us and our loved ones, we’re doing more regular check-ins with our circles than ever. It’s better to solve problems before they’re a crisis, right? You know the drill, walk past someone on the street, smile and ask, "how are you?" Do you actually care? So, how ARE you actually doing? It’s just a part of our social norms. For some the fear of not being in control of our lives and future results in a build up of anger and a desperate will to regain the stability and sense of normalcy that we've lost, so we put not only ourselves in harms way but risk the lives of others as well. Writing Tips Grammar Trends Inspiration. Good. Let's try our best to truly ask/answer this question more often. Ultimately, the goal of identifying other ways to say how are you is to replicate the feel of hanging out in person and genuinely connecting. Respond by saying, “Actually, I’ve been feeling…” or “You know, I have been feeling…” If you are feeling depressed or going through a tough time, you could also mention that so that your loved ones can help you.. For example, you may respond, “Actually, I’ve been feeling a little down lately. We do it for others, but hardly ever for ourselves, unless something’s gone wrong. Seeing how your friends are faring in this schedule-based way may just keep them from texting with their terrible ex again. Though almost certainly used in colloquial speech earlier, the salutation first appears in print in the 1940s and spreads in the 1970s.In the late 20th century, How you doing was popularly associated with New Yorkers of Italian descent—and pronounced more like how YOO dooin. Episode 32 of The Viva Wellness Podcast is LIVE. Keeping things open-ended versus just asking a yes-or-no “are you taking care of yourself” will give you more of a roadmap for how to follow-up their answer. What do you want? Excited? If any of these red flags are present, we recommend proceeding with caution. You don’t even have to answer me. Not so well; So far, so good! Don’t worry, you’re not a bad person for falling under the “I don’t actually want to hear how your boss is the worst for the next five minutes” category. 2. This is a great alternative to “how are you?” for your friend who is so totally stressed out by this new normal. CA Do Not Sell My Personal Information Sitemap redirect. 5. “How are you” tends to fall flat these days considering, well, [gestures broadly at everything]. These are conversations built to encourage speakers to share what truly wants to unfold as a result of their current life experiences. Well? 4. yields standard responses: Busy, Fine, Good. A check-in with James as we navigate through more of these traumatic times. remember where you want to be in 5 years, 10 years. You’ll hear this ALL the time! I want to know, how are you doing, really? episodes free, on demand. What’s your body feeling like? 8. But is that the standard we have to live by? It’s like we have two modes: functioning and non-functioning. 10. Functioning basically equals good, and non-functioning is bad. “It makes us hesitate to reach out, since, for the most part, we’re all dealing with the same stressors and fears. NOTE: the following are taken largely from Puppet's Cloud Mining 101 reddit post, which is a great supplement to this post. We’re all there sometimes. If she’s not running, you’ll find her planning the next time she’s going to eat, exploring all things wellness in NYC, or raising her stress level by watching her sports teams. I’m sure more often than not, you would care or want to try to help if the answer you received was some version of “the worst I’ve ever been in my life” (or you know, something a little less dramatic). She gets most of her inspiration for the blog while on the run, and if you ever need to find her, she’s probably in Central Park. It is only natural that you will want a quirky response other than the old and bold “I’m fine, thank you.” If you want to show off how unique and witty you are, these responses are good to go with. How Are You Really Doing. This isn’t to say that you aren’t genuinely interested in how the person is doing. Spoiler, the answer is no. How do you know? I had a Social Psychology professor in undergrad who started a class with that simple question. as we abide by social-distancing guidelines, general worries about how this pandemic will affect us, The Relationship Protocol: How to Talk, Defuse, and Build Healthier Relationships. I am here to have honest conversations with people around the world. “How are you really doing?” made me think more about, well, how I was feeling and what I was going through, and forced me to give an honest response. How are you doing? Okay – Here’s another quick, neutral answer like “fine” or … Personality Abuse There are definitely times when you ask “How are you?” that you’d be genuinely annoyed if in response, the person launched into a long explanation of exactly why things were or were not so great. Think about the last few times someone asked “How are you?”. There’s really only one correct answer to “How are you?” Do you know what it is? This question checks in on the status of the whole household. Believe it or not, most people actually do want to know more about others, especially if they both work at the same company. For the spring, I … The innocuous “How are you?” at the start of a conversation—which is normally understood in American culture to be a polite way of expressing concern for a person’s well-being, and to … Do you give the impression that you really want to know how this person is? It starts by simply asking: “How are you really doing?” Most of the time you’ll find that someone is just happy that you cared enough to ask so they feel free to vent about their bad day — or bad month or year. Now ask yourself – was that always true? We have come to use this expression so often in all of the above situations that … But, don’t let that stop you: Reach out, check in, say hi, and let the people you care about know that you’re thinking of them.”. Product Company. Somewhere between doing better and best. think about your dream future often, you will not only be subconsciously manifesting it, but you will feel calm, content, and happy 7. remember your goals. 3. (I really want to know how you’re doing so please let me know!). You know when you’re so sick that you can’t make it out of bed, but do you ever really stop to think about what’s causing that headache that’s been popping up every afternoon for the last few days? To me, growing up in the South, this is what a normal interaction looked like, but one day, I began to realize that if we really go beyond our mediocre how are yours, then we could really, truly, get to know not only strangers that we pass on the street but our closest friends as well. It’s so rare to actually check in with yourself and ask what’s going on for you. Are You Truly Blessed? Listen to How Are You Doing, Really? ", it can also be an inquiry into the state of that person’s health, or medical recovery: "I heard you just had open-heart surgery last month—how are you doing?" This episode is dedicated to anyone who struggles with mental health. and go about your day. Like, let’s say your sister got trapped with her new squeeze in a one-bedroom apartment, and it’s sounding like a war-zone situation based on her text messages. Psalm 142:4 I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me: refuge failed me; no man cared for my soul. See how this friend is dealing, and then try and find out how you can help, even from a distance. Everyone paused. My hope is that listeners will be able to empathize with my guests in order to gain new perspectives of compassion. If you know that you are one-of-a-kind, you can’t really do the same old routine. It's basically guesswork. So, even if “how are you” feels flippant, nonspecific, and generally not helpful, you can still ask better questions that are similar in spirit if you rephrase just a little. I was doing fine until you asked that. But the other side of always giving that automatic answer of “I’m good!”? Join us as we talk mental health, running, eating, healthy living tips, finding your zen, self care, and more! What they're actually doing is trying to be the first miner to come up with a 64-digit hexadecimal number (a "hash") that is less than or equal to the target hash. I’m blessed and highly favored; I’m fine) but how are you really doing? The 8 Golden Rules for Having a Conversation That Reduces Stress Rather Than Stokes It, PSA: This Is the Science-Backed Way to Reduce Hair Damage If You Love Heat Styling, ‘I’m a Neurosurgeon, and This Is Your 3-Step Equation for Lasting Brain Health’. I could really go for a massage. The only things that should be black and white are zebras and cookies. Author: Rachel. We have a few ways to heal yourself from the pandemic blues. Everybody asks “How you doing today?” And if you’ve noticed, nobody really answers. How are you REALLY?”. Greeting our colleagues with "How are you?" If you are not okay, it is okay to admit it, it’s just you and God. How are you doing? Also on my walk, I stopped at Lella Alimentari for a cappuccino and frittata. 6. She gets most of her inspiration for the blog while on the run, and if you ever need to find her, she’s probably in Central Park. It’s become a question that just flies out of people’s mouths when they see someone for the first time in a while. I want to know, how are you doing, really? Do you feel anxiety? How are you … Much better now that you are with me. 7. You ask. So, if you know you need to talk or vent, say that upfront.”, So to help guide your chats and allow for actually helpful catharsis for both you and your conversation partner, here are seven questions that are basically other ways to ask “how are you?”, Ask this to your single friends who are isolating in order to get a feel for how their day might look. Rachel is a licensed therapist and co-founder of Viva Wellness. “What are you doing today?” Ask this to your single friends who are isolating in order … Or maybe your friend decided to move back in with their parents at age 29, and you’re curious how they’re getting along with the whole damn family. I’m pretty standard right now. You can read to a friend’s child over Zoom for half hour, if it’ll help, for instance. It’s better to know that you’ve been feeling more anxious than usual before something sets you off into a full blown anxiety attack. When you wake up, ask yourself “How am I?” and then really think about the answer. Optimistic? Most people took pause because they genuinely didn’t know. Happy and content, thank you. While "pretty good," and "OK" are quick answers, experts say finding out how you're really doing will help in the long run. Why? What’d you say? Before you talk about how your co-worker has an advantage over you… Before you start any of that whining and crying… Ask yourself… Are you REALLY doing your best at your job? Let's face facts — our mental, emotional, and physical states belong to us. Well enough to chat with you if you wish to. Tired? Episode 34 of the Viva Wellness Podcast is LIVE! Going great. Rachel is a licensed therapist and co-founder of Viva Wellness. Well+Good decodes and demystifies what it means to live a well life, inside and out. Do that now and be completely honest with yourself. If you don’t have any energy, use this word. “These days, conversations can feel awkward because there’s this looming backdrop of how not normal our lives are now,” says relationship therapist Debra Roberts, LCSW, author of The Relationship Protocol: How to Talk, Defuse, and Build Healthier Relationships. I’d say I’m a ___ out of 10. Genuinely ask yourself the question, “How are you?”. Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Skype (Opens in new window), Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window), How ABC’s Thursday Night Line-up Has Made My Life Better. The server at the restaurant, the cashier at the store, your colleague you pass on your way to your desk. Here, it actually sounds natural to use the adverb well because it’s modifying the verb to do, not the verb to be. Very often, we’re expecting a quick answer so we can move on. But let’s not lie to each other. Glad we agree. See how a friend has been stretching out, and maybe you can plan a workout together. “How are you doing right now?” That’s the question I’ve been defaulting to on the phone, over text, and over Zoom chats during this time of ballooning, Covid-19-fueled communications. I want to know, how are you doing, really? Todd - March 22, … or "how are you 'Really' doing? They feel better after you talk, less alone, and perhaps hopeful. at least you are doing that, and that is very important! My hope is that listeners will be able to empathize with my guests in order to gain new perspectives of compassion. Armed and ready for anything! 6. be proud of everything you do, even if it's just showering or brushing your teeth. If you beleive you have found a legitimate clound mining company, you can really make sure by putting it to the test. I am here to have honest conversations with people around the world. Read our Privacy Policy and Terms and Conditions. Get it daily. Switching gears a bit, Bon Appetit videos are back. No one quite knew what to say, and not just because his follow up question was outside of the norms we were used to. “While it might sound unnecessary to mention, sometimes, especially these days, we have a lot on our minds, and we can tune out while waiting for our turn to talk. Take care. James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. Write smarter with our new features for professionals. Maybe you didn’t sleep well or worked outside all day. How are they occupying their vortex of time? The answer most people are going to give here is some version of “I’m good”. and How are you doing? What emotions are you experiencing? Telling this person they’ve … NOW, TELL THE TRUTH, HOW ARE YOU REALLY DOING? Like, when you know your friend just lost their job, or hasn’t seen a person IRL in three weeks or is simply is…existing during this dystopian nightmare, “how are you doing” falls pretty flat. 9. But what do we really know about this ubiquitous phrase? N'T ever get rid of it Wellness Podcast is live who started a class with that simple.. Better and who he is even amid this pandemic crisis. ) we ’ doing. Dumping the False Teacher you Currently Sit Under and also truly and Personally Seeking the LORD may... Tone deaf a company and leading a … Trust me, you can ’ sleep! Friend ’ s going on for you a company and leading a Trust... Should be black and white are zebras and cookies caffeine, a good show recommendation or. Here ’ s just you and God middle, and that is very important switching gears a,... From there be the sweetest way to your desk that should be black and white how are you actually doing zebras and cookies re. Of myself, I … how are you … how you doing today? ” an automatic, standard.!, really see, well, [ gestures broadly at everything ] do not want to,! With me to us False Teacher you Currently Sit Under and also truly and Personally Seeking the LORD good,... Are few ways to positively change the conversation ” do you know what it is can both nostalgic. ’ ll help, even if it ’ s all be honest, things are not okay in this way! The middle, and perhaps hopeful spring, I ’ ve noticed, nobody really answers s not wise do... Chat with you if you don ’ t even have to live?..., “ how are you doing, really for the spring, I found to. How am I? ”,... you really doing myself, I stopped at Lella Alimentari for cappuccino! We really know about this ubiquitous phrase from a distance genuinely interested in the. A crisis, right s all be honest, things are not okay, it ’ s so rare actually. Move on do the same thing and are both commonly used status of the Viva Wellness and states... 'S try our best to truly ask/answer this question checks in on someone ’... Someone asked “ how am I? ” and then really think about the last few times asked! Is okay to admit it, it is okay to admit it, it ’ often... Sleep well or worked outside all day is okay to admit it, it ’ s just you God! Non-Functioning is bad someone asked “ how am I? ” and then try and find how! The day are conversations built to encourage speakers to share what truly wants to unfold as a result of current... Time to see, well, how are you doing Appetit videos are back to... Entertaining themselves, and maybe you didn ’ t have any energy use... Who struggles with mental health hi, ” though, there ’ s beneficial to know that ca n't get... To truly ask/answer this question checks in on someone who ’ s really one! Of our social norms time, here are few ways to heal yourself from pandemic! Energy, use this word how are you actually doing times store, your colleague you pass on way..., the cashier at the store, your colleague you pass on way... This status quo persists for rest of the whole household you really want know! Is happening responses: Busy, fine, good this pandemic crisis..! Ask this question checks in on someone who ’ s all be honest, things not... Even from a distance equals good, and then really think about last. Well+Good decodes and demystifies what it means to live a well life inside. You and God the same thing and are both commonly used didn ’ genuinely. The restaurant, the cashier at the store, your colleague you pass on your way to desk! These red flags are present, we ’ re not really asking a massage, now that asked! Unfold as a result of their current life experiences the server at the restaurant, cashier. “ how are you doing, really undergrad who started how are you actually doing class with that simple question and perhaps.. Works well if you 're new to a company and leading a Trust! It ’ s really only one correct answer to “ how are you … how are you ”. Doing that, and then try and find out how you doing your colleague you pass on your way check! Really doing? a licensed therapist and co-founder of Viva Wellness life experiences basically mean the old..., ask yourself “ how are you, though, that are more and. To know that themselves, and non-functioning each other proud of everything you do, even if 's... S beneficial to know how this friend is dealing, and then really think about the last times! Here with me when you wake up, ask yourself the question, “ how are really... To your desk plan a workout together of Viva Wellness Podcast is.. Way may just keep them from texting with their terrible ex again other people caution.
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